For the last two years I've been a women's missional community leader through my church, Austin Stone Community Church. I've been reflecting on the last two years a lot lately because tomorrow evening will be my last night with the group. I'm passing the torch to Katie who is going to take over leadership, and I'm going to spend the next year as part of a new TOAG group, learning what it looks like to take the gospel to the nations.
It's an exciting time of knowing that the Lord is leading me in a new direction and that change and new leadership is healthy, but it's also hard, knowing that even though I plan to stay friends with each of the women, it won't be possible to stay AS connected when I'm involved in a different group.
The last two years have been such an amazing time of growth for me spiritually and my missional community (MC) has been a HUGE part of that. Meeting for a few hours each week doesn't seem like a lot, but when you add all that time up over two years, it's a lot. Leading an MC has challenged me and taught me some valuable lessons. I think the Lord has showed me the importance of these five qualities:
1. Authenticity
Our culture of self sufficiency and independence encourages us to hide our insecurities and put on a confident face and act like we have it all together. Instability makes people nervous. Even a lot of church cultures get nervous when people confess too much sin. A funny thing happens though when you are able to create a safe environment that values openness and honesty. You quickly find out that nobody has it all together. If they act like they do, they're hiding something. People aren't looking for someone who can recite pages of Bible verses to them and tell them everything is ok. They are looking for someone who is real. If I can let people into my struggles, they are much more likely to let me into theirs. That is when I have the opportunity to help them see their struggle in light of the Gospel. Being vulnerable about your sin is an opportunity to better understand God's grace. If you are the type of person (like I was) that could never show anyone what was really going on in your heart, you are missing out on a huge opportunity for healing and change.
2. Accountability
For several years, I attended church on Sunday but had absolutely no accountability for the rest of my week. I wanted to change certain things about my life but I kept falling back into sin. Leading a missional community was the first time in my life that I honestly felt like I had real accountability. After all, I was the leader! I knew each week I would be seeing a group of girls and would have to be open and honest about my week. Eventually we took it one level deeper by forming accountability groups within the MC. This consistent accountability has been crucial in my life. Without it, I am confident that I would not be where I am right now in my walk with the Lord. There have been too many times over the past two years that I have been tempted to fall into old patterns, but I knew that on Thursday night I would have to confess what I'd done. Being a Christian in today's culture is HARD. If you think you can just wing it on your own, you're being deceived. This group has showed me the necessity of having people in my life who will speak truth to me, even if it's uncomfortable.
3. Commitment
Our culture today is commitment phobic. We can try almost anything we want, go anywhere we want, be anyone we want, etc. It's amazing how even with a missional community, it's hard to get people to commit! We are a self serving people and we want our needs met all the time, whether it's a church, job, relationship, etc. I feel like one of the things the Lord showed me the value of over the last two years is commitment. You can't really invest and make a difference anywhere unless you are willing to commit. Committing means you can't be a part of every new group or "mission" that comes along. The first year our MC met on Tuesdays and I can remember days when I got off work at 5 on Tuesday, went home and collapsed on my couch and the ONLY thing I wanted to do was veg out, watch TV and drink a glass of wine. But I couldn't. You can't just not go when you are the leader! Especially when the group is meeting at your house! But it was in those times of being obedient even when I didn't feel like it that God moved powerfully in my life. If you are faithful in small things, you will be faithful with much.
4. Grace
A not so surprising thing happens when you have a group made up of broken and fallen people - they act crappy and hurt each other. Not always, of course. But if you are really getting into people's lives on a consistent basis, it's pretty inevitable that at some point some of them are going to hurt you. Having real authentic community is hard because people are messed up, including me. We all have our pride and our need to control and our need to be right. Hopefully if we're being honest we can admit it, but sometimes we can't. There have been times in the last two years when I've really been hurt, to the point of asking, "What is the point of going to all this trouble if people are just going to act crappy and hurt me?" I had to look at my motivations and realize that I wasn't doing any of it so that people would like me or be nice to me. I was doing it to serve God, because of who He is and what He did for me when I didn't deserve it. Remembering His grace is what allows me to show grace to others, to be humble and forgive and not always need to be right.
5. Faith
I remember when I started the MC two years ago, I was fairly terrified. I didn't really know what I was doing and felt incredibly under-qualified. I didn't even know if anyone would actually show up. I just kept praying that God would use me and would show me what to do. The last two years have been a testiment to God's faithfulness to reveal His power through weak people. God has used my MC to do some amazing things in people's lives (including my own) and I can 100% testify that none of it was due to my ability or wisdom. And women just kept coming the entire time! The last year I haven't really "advertised" the group at all, yet a faithful group of women has continued to come. And now that I'm leaving a new woman has stepped up to lead and the group will continue on, which is such an awesome feeling. It reminds me of the saying, "God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called." If you feel like God is calling you to do something, just take a step of faith and know that He will carry you through it.
Tomorrow night my group is coming over for dinner to celebrate and look back over the past year and remember all that God has done in our lives. I am so grateful that God allowed me to be a part of this group and meet all the amazing women who have been a part of it. It has blessed me beyond words.
It's an exciting time of knowing that the Lord is leading me in a new direction and that change and new leadership is healthy, but it's also hard, knowing that even though I plan to stay friends with each of the women, it won't be possible to stay AS connected when I'm involved in a different group.
The last two years have been such an amazing time of growth for me spiritually and my missional community (MC) has been a HUGE part of that. Meeting for a few hours each week doesn't seem like a lot, but when you add all that time up over two years, it's a lot. Leading an MC has challenged me and taught me some valuable lessons. I think the Lord has showed me the importance of these five qualities:
1. Authenticity
Our culture of self sufficiency and independence encourages us to hide our insecurities and put on a confident face and act like we have it all together. Instability makes people nervous. Even a lot of church cultures get nervous when people confess too much sin. A funny thing happens though when you are able to create a safe environment that values openness and honesty. You quickly find out that nobody has it all together. If they act like they do, they're hiding something. People aren't looking for someone who can recite pages of Bible verses to them and tell them everything is ok. They are looking for someone who is real. If I can let people into my struggles, they are much more likely to let me into theirs. That is when I have the opportunity to help them see their struggle in light of the Gospel. Being vulnerable about your sin is an opportunity to better understand God's grace. If you are the type of person (like I was) that could never show anyone what was really going on in your heart, you are missing out on a huge opportunity for healing and change.
2. Accountability
For several years, I attended church on Sunday but had absolutely no accountability for the rest of my week. I wanted to change certain things about my life but I kept falling back into sin. Leading a missional community was the first time in my life that I honestly felt like I had real accountability. After all, I was the leader! I knew each week I would be seeing a group of girls and would have to be open and honest about my week. Eventually we took it one level deeper by forming accountability groups within the MC. This consistent accountability has been crucial in my life. Without it, I am confident that I would not be where I am right now in my walk with the Lord. There have been too many times over the past two years that I have been tempted to fall into old patterns, but I knew that on Thursday night I would have to confess what I'd done. Being a Christian in today's culture is HARD. If you think you can just wing it on your own, you're being deceived. This group has showed me the necessity of having people in my life who will speak truth to me, even if it's uncomfortable.
3. Commitment
Our culture today is commitment phobic. We can try almost anything we want, go anywhere we want, be anyone we want, etc. It's amazing how even with a missional community, it's hard to get people to commit! We are a self serving people and we want our needs met all the time, whether it's a church, job, relationship, etc. I feel like one of the things the Lord showed me the value of over the last two years is commitment. You can't really invest and make a difference anywhere unless you are willing to commit. Committing means you can't be a part of every new group or "mission" that comes along. The first year our MC met on Tuesdays and I can remember days when I got off work at 5 on Tuesday, went home and collapsed on my couch and the ONLY thing I wanted to do was veg out, watch TV and drink a glass of wine. But I couldn't. You can't just not go when you are the leader! Especially when the group is meeting at your house! But it was in those times of being obedient even when I didn't feel like it that God moved powerfully in my life. If you are faithful in small things, you will be faithful with much.
4. Grace
A not so surprising thing happens when you have a group made up of broken and fallen people - they act crappy and hurt each other. Not always, of course. But if you are really getting into people's lives on a consistent basis, it's pretty inevitable that at some point some of them are going to hurt you. Having real authentic community is hard because people are messed up, including me. We all have our pride and our need to control and our need to be right. Hopefully if we're being honest we can admit it, but sometimes we can't. There have been times in the last two years when I've really been hurt, to the point of asking, "What is the point of going to all this trouble if people are just going to act crappy and hurt me?" I had to look at my motivations and realize that I wasn't doing any of it so that people would like me or be nice to me. I was doing it to serve God, because of who He is and what He did for me when I didn't deserve it. Remembering His grace is what allows me to show grace to others, to be humble and forgive and not always need to be right.
5. Faith
I remember when I started the MC two years ago, I was fairly terrified. I didn't really know what I was doing and felt incredibly under-qualified. I didn't even know if anyone would actually show up. I just kept praying that God would use me and would show me what to do. The last two years have been a testiment to God's faithfulness to reveal His power through weak people. God has used my MC to do some amazing things in people's lives (including my own) and I can 100% testify that none of it was due to my ability or wisdom. And women just kept coming the entire time! The last year I haven't really "advertised" the group at all, yet a faithful group of women has continued to come. And now that I'm leaving a new woman has stepped up to lead and the group will continue on, which is such an awesome feeling. It reminds me of the saying, "God doesn't call the qualified. He qualifies the called." If you feel like God is calling you to do something, just take a step of faith and know that He will carry you through it.
Tomorrow night my group is coming over for dinner to celebrate and look back over the past year and remember all that God has done in our lives. I am so grateful that God allowed me to be a part of this group and meet all the amazing women who have been a part of it. It has blessed me beyond words.
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